Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
