Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
