Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
