I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
