Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
