I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize