Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
