WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
