New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
