What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
