I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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