It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
