This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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