During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
