There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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