I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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