Screwed.edu
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she told me i tasted like america
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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