He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize