Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
