Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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