You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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