my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
