I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I want a musical about memes.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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