if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
North Korea, Best Korea!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
