I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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