I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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