Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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