I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
