i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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