I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
