I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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