I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
