mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
