Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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