:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
