Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My bed smells like the plague
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
