One girl and one boy is just not enough.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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