Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I had to cum in my sink.
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