my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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