In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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