I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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