Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
