For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
