If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
