Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
