nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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