This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
