sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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