I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
