Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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