in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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