It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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