I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
