i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
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You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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