I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Nicole vs. Life
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
