So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
