I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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