I want to stick my p in your. b.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im having a threesome with these popsicles
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
