return my video game
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
