I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
