i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
