the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
