okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
