I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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