Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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