Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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