U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
