Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
