I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize