marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
